Life is hard

Hello everybody! This is my first blog post, so I`m very nervous about it, but I hope you enjoy! I don`t want to give you real names, not even my own, in case someone from real life comes across this. I want to have this blog as an escape place, where I can just spit everything out, the raw truth, which is ironic, knowing I can`t use actual names. But still, I want to not be restrained by anything so here`s how you can call me- Words. Because I like to read, talk and write (and do a lot of everything mentioned) word are a part of me. So here you go, you can know call me Words.

Now, I`m a teenager and, like most teenagers, my life sucks. I don`t pretend to have it be the worst of the worst, I`m just saying, my life isn`t the greatest. School is bad, like really, really bad. My classmates suck, even more than the average, my teachers are dicks, but they fit in the norm, my parents- well, sometimes they make me actually consider ways to kill myself, sometimes they`re the reason I smile. They`re angelic demons, good one minute, pure evil in the next.

And then there`s grades and test and exams and- can we just stop those? Where I live, I`ll only tell you it`s Romania, you`ll have to guess the rest, every two years, grade-wise, you have to take an evaluation of sorts, PLUS the usual finals. That evaluation is not made to be graded, it`s just to help the statistics show how dumb people are in some countries. But in my math class, our teacher is gonna evaluate the math parts of the test and give us a grade based on how we did. Oh, I forgot to mention, they`re two of these evaluations, one for sciences (math, biology and physics) and one for languages (in my case, Romanian and the language we learn is English). So we could just focus on the math parts, and don`t really get super I haven`t-slept-in-a-week-and-I-feel-like-killing-myself kind of stressed out. But today our math teacher announced when our sciences evaluation will be. It`s on the 23rd of May, the day a super highly anticipate book comes out- “Lord of Shadows”- I`m a big reader and my goal for this year is to read 100 books. So I went home and went by my day and then I told my parents about it.

Since I live in Romania, that book will not be available here at the same time you would be able to get it in the US. They don`t publish it in English because about no one could read it, and translating it takes time, so I can be waiting for between 3 month and a year or even more. So I had this idea, what if I buy the Kindle version? I can read it along with everyone else, review it- I do have a public youtube channel that I`m not gonna talk about since this is undercover stuff ;). But still, my idea was good but I`m not old enough to have my own credit card, so I needed to ask my parents to pay for the book when it came out. I firstly told them about when the evauation will be, then about the book. And what was their response? The stupidest, dumbest, shittiest thing they could say. It wasn`t even a no. I wish it was, but I`m not that lucky. My mom said something along the lines of- Yeah, we need to stop buying you books at some point. Like, you can read until the beginning of May, then you need to stop until exams are over. Like, this is taking over your life, you know, but you better get a headstart- we`ll buy you books now but you`ll read them later, because you won`t have any time to read then. Okay? Like, you know, I understood that you had bad grades because your Romanian teacher was an ass, but if you get a low score on that test, it means you haven’t studied, like ever, and that your dumb, so you need to get studying to get a good score, okay?

I think that even if you don`t know all the details, which you soon will, you can see how wrong all of that is. They`re so many thing not okay, I almost started crying of frustration and thought if I should kill myself before the exams, or try and kill my mom. I almost cried when I wrote this, that`s just how frustrating it is. So I`m gonna present my case through a list of things that are off… In another article.

Thank you for letting me rant and I`ll see you next time! Have a great day!

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